


Cracked

by inlaterdays



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 21:11:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2555867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlaterdays/pseuds/inlaterdays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HUMOR. This is not a serious fic. Originally posted on 24 Sept 2008; written for the prompt "broken pieces" for the LiveJournal comm xf_pornbattle, and on a dare. Twilight crossover. Yes, I know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cracked

On the whole, working for the Brit beat working for the smoker. But not today.

Krycek fumed, feeling like a soccer mom. Playing chauffeur to a sulky vampire wasn't his idea of time well-spent.

It hadn't been that difficult to get his hand on the Cullen family's file, but it had been disappointing. Personally, he found some aspects of the paranormal uninteresting. If it didn't pose a threat, leave it alone.

His passenger inspected the car's interior with interest. "Mercedes S-class," said the kid. "Very nice."

"Yeah," Krycek said, shortly. "W126."

"My father has one like it."

"Great." He let the boredom show in his voice. "We're here."

Apparently, "here" was a dead-end street in the middle of nowhere. For the first time, Krycek felt uneasy. This had better not be a setup.

His passenger looked over at him. The older man blinked.

Yellow eyes? Who had yellow eyes? The kid looked like a snake. A redheaded, yellow-eyed, incredibly beautiful snake. Coloring aside, he looked like a male model. It was extremely irritating. And was that body glitter...?

Edward made a movement toward the driver's side, but it came so quickly and suddenly that Krycek's defensive reflexes kicked in. Edward's hand met the prosthetic sharply. It shattered mid-forearm.

"What. The hell," Krycek managed.

"Sorry...I was trying to shake hands." Edward was momentarily chagrined. "I didn't expect you to react."

"Might want to work on that self-control, Red," Krycek said, crossly. He'd just gotten this one broken in. Getting fitted for a new prosthetic was always a nuisance.

It was Edward's turn to stare, as he took advantage of Krycek's distraction to probe his thoughts. An assassin? Here was a creature as beautiful and deadly as he was, but of a different order. Another being who operated on a moral code outside society's norms. Who had been, seen, and done unspeakable things.

What a terrible person.

"I've got quite a bit of self-control, thank you." Edward's said.

Krycek stopped brushing pieces of his ruined arm out of his lap and looked up, noticing the disdain in Edward's expression.

"Feeling holier-than-thou, are we, Dracula Junior?"

"How can you stand it?" Edward burst out. "How can you choose to be like this when you could live a normal life?"

A crease appeared at the bridge of Krycek's nose. "You're not the only one who's had choices made for him." He leaned in. "I think you're more interested than you let on. I think you get off on knowing you could kill and not doing it. Denying your urges, your appetites. How many of them do you deny, Edward?"

Edward pulled back. The other man smelled of gunmetal, leather, and blood. Blood on his hands, blood in his thoughts, blood pumping through his jugular just inches from Edward...he licked his lips.

"I know what you want," Krycek said silkily.

Edward raised his eyebrows, ready to bolt at any second. When a warm hand was laid on his cold thigh, he almost laughed with relief. It wasn't a meal Krycek was offering.

Edward felt a hunger of a different sort rise in him, as well as a perverse need to prove himself. It was almost a dare.

"Do you?" Edward's voice was like honey. "I wonder."

He'd never been with a man, had barely even kissed girls, and he was curious. No one would ever know. This wouldn't count. He laid his cold hand atop the other man's warm one, guiding it upwards.

Both men looked at the fic writer, begging her Not To Go There, but she was relentless.

Krycek unbuttoned the straining fabric of Edward's jeans, and they both gasped as his hot palm met cool flesh. Edward returned the favor, the smoothness of his fingers teasing Krycek into further arousal. Before either could think better of it, they began exploring each other, hands moving faster and more urgently, until they broke apart and each finished himself off.

Krycek fell back, panting. Edward had a sparkle in his eyes to match his skin. He pulled himself together and gracefully got out of the car. "Thanks," he said. "For everything. It was quite a ride."

Krycek looked over at the now-vacant passenger seat and groaned. It was going to be hell getting that out of the upholstery.

Apparently _everything_ about vampires glittered.


End file.
